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I’m back. Yes, I thought for a minute to erase the jagged windy path of breadcrumbs and start anew once again. My path is my path. I can’t change what has gone before. I’m starting where I’m at today and moving forward. I have spent enough time dwelling on the past, the sunk costs, the mistakes. Life is this moment and I’m living it. Maybe I’ll run another half maybe I won’t. But I probably will. Join me.


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Help me raise money to help end MS

The National MS Society has an option to raise money by running any endurance event of your choice.  I picked the San Diego Rock ‘n’ Roll half-marathon on June 2, 2013. MS is a life-altering diagnosis that makes it difficult to do things most of us take for granted every day.  I am running because I can. Please donate whatever you can afford! Thank you!

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Eating behavior, body weight, body image, and nutrition concerns have been preoccupying much of my waking hours for as long as I can remember.

I have been on a quest for the perfect eating plan and solution to what I felt was a bizarre relationship with food–maybe a compulsive eating disorder, possibly a food addiction or even a set of food allergies. What I did not expect was that would lead to a major life-altering experience that would affect every aspect of my life.

What I’ve learned about feeding my body is that I feel drawn back towards a more plant-based diet. What feels most natural to me now is a transition towards a vegan diet–preferably as much of it raw as possible. I believe that my body feels most nourished on whole raw foods and adding more of these into my daily routine will push out the less nourishing foods and I feel these foods will eventually make up the bulk of my diet. Another principle I learned is that I no longer want to struggle with anyone or anything in my life. Applying this to my diet and exercise feels right and takes the stress out of the change. We do not need extra stress and struggle in our lives. I want more light and love, nourishing foods and relationships.

The real paradox of all this is that I didn’t start losing any weight until I gave up counting calories and trying to design the perfect food plan. Trusting my body’s wisdom and learning to listen to my intuition on everything I do is allowing my body to slowly and naturally move back toward a normal size and a healthier way of life.

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This is the year

I’m committed this year. At least my money is. I’ve sent my $85 to secure my spot in the Virginia Beach Rock ‘n’ Roll half-marathon on Labor Day weekend. This is not my ideal scenario. My ideal scenario would be me in lean, mean racing shape BEFORE I started training for the half. But, I’m going to be very zen about it this year and just do the training and see what happens.

I have allowed myself 15 weeks for the actual half-marathon training phase which will start in May. This leaves me 10 more weeks to establish my base and get stronger. My hope is that this will put me in a position to train to FINISH the half-marathon. Any time-goal aspirations I had in previous years are going to be saved for a later date. It’s been 8 years now since I ran the half-marathon, so just getting through the training and the race without permanently injuring myself or having myself committed will be a satisfying outcome.

Galloway seems to still be the perfect every-man/woman’s training plan and that is the strategy this year. It’s flexible, conservative and it’s worked for me in the past with better-than-expected racing results.

More to come.

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As I wind up my work on my master’s degree I am thinking about immediate plans. The half-marathon is out there in September taunting me, urging me to start the long run build-up. Here I sit, finishing up my cumulative work–my bottom stuck in the chair. My foot, which has been painful for the last month is improving: the one benefit to NOT spending too much time running.

I want to commit to the Labor day plan of running in VA beach, but part of me says to hold back and don’t push it. Part of me says go for it and if I succeed, huzzah, and if not, then fail big!

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I’ve agonized for days over this but finally decided it wasn’t worth trying to run/walk a half that I’m not ready for.  I’m nowhere close to where I wanted to be in terms of body weight, endurance, speed and my back has given up on me for the moment.  I know this is a lame list of excuses.  I’m not giving up — I’m just postponing.  I will not sign up for another race until I’m sure that I’m in some sort of decent shape to start training for it.

Two weeks ago I actually thought I was going to be on schedule to run/walk the whole thing, but last week’s long run was about 75% of what it should have been and left my back in pain for days.  I couldn’t even make the 3.1 miles at the Komen Race on Sunday without a lot of ibuprofin.

So, this is my new goal.  I will run one and maybe two half-marathons next year.

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Or I may be walking with running breaks. I am doing my long “runs” on schedule now, but they’re getting slower and less running is happening. I’ll be happy to finish in whatever time…theoretically…but I’d rather have a good percentage of the race be running. At least half would be nice.

A good sign is that I seem to NOT be destroyed by today’s run and was able to do some chores.  We are heading off to a co-worker’s wedding in an hour or so. We’ll see how much dancing and/or standing in heels I’ll be able to do tonight. I am looking forward to a champagne toast though. Alas, my favorite part of most weddings.

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